How to Divorce a Narcissist?

How to Divorce a Narcissist

Leaving any marriage can be emotionally challenging for anyone. But there is a unique set of difficulties to divorce a narcissist. Narcissists mostly prioritize their own needs and desires above all else. 

So, the other spouse cannot get the desired benefits. To avoid the problems in your divorce case, we will describe what a narcissist does and how to divorce a narcissist in this guide.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition where the patient thinks of himself above anything else. People with NPD often believe they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. 

The Characteristics of Narcissism

Narcissists may also be very sensitive to criticism and quick to anger. According to psychologists, the narcissists have this characteristics:

  • An inflated sense of self-importance
  • A deep need for admiration
  • A lack of empathy for others. 

The Red Flags of Identifying Narcissists

When your spouse continuously shows these qualities in everyday life, you can be sure of his or her narcissist’s behaviours. These red flags can help you make any decision: 

  • They deflect blame and refuse to acknowledge their mistakes.
  • They offer little to no support and prioritize their own needs.
  • They view themselves as constantly wronged, manipulating sympathy.
  • Your accomplishments go unnoticed, leaving you unrecognized.
  • Their way is the only way, fostering an “all or nothing” dynamic.
  • Admitting fault is non-existent, hindering resolution.
  • Anger and negativity become the norm in the relationship.
  • They use emotional withdrawal to punish and control you.
  • Facing separation, they may try to damage your reputation.
  • Their behaviour can leave you feeling depleted and hopeless.

How Does a Narcissist Behave During Divorce?

During a divorce, a narcissist may exhibit a range of manipulative behaviours, including gaslighting, manipulation, playing victim cards, and damaging reputation.

  • Gaslighting: Denying or twisting events to make you doubt your sanity
  • Emotional Manipulation: Using guilt, fear, or threats to control you
  • Playing the Victim: portraying themselves as the wronged party
  • Damaging Reputation: attempting to damage your reputation with friends and family

How to Divorce a Narcissist: Points to be Noted

You need to complete several steps for a logical solution. First, expect resistance and manipulation. Then, build a strong support system with a therapist and lawyer. Set boundaries and document everything. Overall, prioritize self-care throughout the process. Here is a breakdown of everything for better understanding:

Set Realistic Expectations

Forget a smooth exit when divorcing a narcissist. Expect resistance, blame games, and a refusal to cooperate. Plan for a contentious process where your ex prioritizes winning over reason.

Assemble Your Support Team

Narcissists can be persuasive. So, build a strong support system of trusted friends, family, and a therapist. Their unwavering belief in you will counter manipulation attempts and keep you grounded throughout the divorce.

Set Boundaries for Yourself

Limit contact, especially if they are manipulative. Set clear boundaries to protect yourself from their influence. This is crucial during this emotionally draining time to avoid getting pulled back into negativity.

Document Everything

Most narcissists lie in court or the police. So do not forget to gather evidence! Keep records of finances, communication, and any abusive behaviour. This protects you in court and helps counter their manipulations.

Contact a Lawyer

Consider a lawyer experienced with narcissism. They can navigate manipulation tactics, gather evidence, and fight for a fair outcome. Don’t go it alone – their expertise can simplify the process.

What Do Narcissists Do during Divorce?

Narcissists are greedy for admiration and control. So, when a spouse files for divorce, it shatters their perfect world and exposes their flaws. This triggers a deep-seated fear of being seen as wrong. To protect themselves, they employ the following manipulative tactics:

  • Shift Blame: Distract you with trivial details to avoid addressing real issues.
  • Play the Victim: Portray themselves as the wronged party, gaining sympathy.
  • Delay Tactics: Stall proceedings to wear you down and force concessions.
  • Verbal Abuse: Use intimidation and insults to control the narrative.

Things to Do to Make Yourself Safe During Divorce

We have listed some precautions you can take during the divorce process:

  • Document abusive behaviour, finances, and communication to protect you in court.
  • Open a separate bank account and safeguard important documents to avoid manipulation.
  • Take stock of your finances and consider consulting a lawyer to protect yourself.
  • Limit communication and consider temporary housing if needed.
  • Change passwords social media logins, and check for tracking devices.
  • Develop a parenting plan with a lawyer that prioritizes their well-being.
  • Don’t react to provocations and maintain composure for a less stressful process.


Most importantly, divorcing a narcissist requires strength and resilience. You must complete the noted points to make yourself clear and transparent to the legal authorities. Remember that you are not alone. Our lawyers have many resources available to help you through this difficult time. So, do not hesitate to contact us to make life secure.


How Does a Narcissist React to Divorce?

A narcissist’s world revolves around their pride of ownership, so a divorce shatters their image. Expect resistance, blame games, and manipulation. They may play the victim card to win their game and torture the other spouse emotionally.

Why is It So Hard to Divorce a Narcissist?

Divorcing a narcissist is tough because they can not accept blame. They fight dirty, using emotional manipulation and lies to avoid a fair settlement. Their need to control and win at all costs extends to divorce. So, their behaviour makes it a draining and complex battle.

Why Do Narcissists Refuse to Divorce?

Narcissists want control and admiration over anything else. Divorce threatens both these qualities. So, they may refuse to admit their fault and the divorce. They might also use you for emotional support or enjoy the power struggle. In some cases, they may stay to sabotage your happiness.

Why a Narcissist Wants a Divorce?

While less common, narcissists may also seek divorce. If they find more admiration from others or feel you have exposed them, they may also want divorce to punish you or get a better financial deal. Ultimately, it’s about what benefits them most.

Previous What are the Tax Benefits for Married Couples Canada?

Get In Touch

We really appreciate you taking the time to get in touch. Please fill in the form.

6337 198 St Suite 101/B, Langley, BC V2Y 1A7, Canada

Contact a lawyer now

Our Other Locations

Copyright © 2024 Mandarin Chinese Divorce Lawyers Vancouver, All rights reserved.

95 FF3, App Street Avenue
NSW 96209, Canada

Opening Hours:

Mon – Fri: 8:00 am – 6:00 pm

City News & Updates

The latest Egovt news, articles, and resources, sent straight to your inbox every month.

[mc4wp_form id="228"]

Please note: The information provided on this website is Not Legal Advice. The information may or may not be accurate. The information is for discussion purposes only. Reliance upon any information provided would not be grounds to advance a claim against Chinese Lawyer Vancouver for providing any advice. In order to get a formal legal opinion upon which you may rely about any specific fact scenario, you would have to first retain the services of a lawyer and request a formal legal opinion.